Barefootin' It! ~ "Undaunted Courage"

 

I'm Barefootin' It!

with 

"Undaunted Courage"

over at 

American Expedition!

Where conservation begins!

A resource to help you plan conservation projects with kids!

"Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet
and the winds long to play with your hair."  -Kahlil Gibran

*Life is in the journey!* ~ Three Pines in a Sunbeam

 ♥

Life's Inspirational Valiant Endeavors

~ Three Pines in a Sunbeam ~

 Dad’s Colorado
1946 ~ 2012

For several months now I've been pretty quiet here in this space; not knowing how to speak of Life's Inspirational Valiant Endeavors. Not a clue where to begin. And so I've done simply what my spirit and my body have encouraged me to do... Just be. We go about the business of living caring for our children, our homes, our careers, ourselves. And when change happens, we adjust. Well, hopefully we adjust. Our only other option is to wither away... and that is not living.

This past October my childhood fantasies brutally clashed with reality. In one surreal moment, I learned that my dad had taken his own life. There would be no last great rumble with a man-eating bear in the wilds of Alaska, nor would the ocean swallow him up and spit him out onto a tropical island somewhere to live out his days as a castaway, an adventurer, a man among men.That was my dad, after all... Robinson Crusoe. Bigger than life! As a kid, the myth was just easier to live with. Reality was too... well, too real. 

The reality was my father suffered his entire life with, what I believe was, undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder. As anyone who's lived with a family member who has this disease knows ~ If one suffers, all suffer. I don't know firsthand how medication or therapy might have worked for my dad. Though he absolutely knew he was suffering from severe depression throughout his life, he refused to acknowledge that he had a problem he couldn't fix on his own. His life choice tore apart, piece by piece, what he might have held onto with those he loved; and ultimately even the relationship with his children. I loved my dad dearly, but if I've learned anything from my experience it is that misery loves company, and to save a drowning victim you lend a hand, most certainly your pride... but not your life by jumping into deep water after them, no matter how desperately one wishes to do so. My own happiness rode on my discovery that I am worth more than that. 

My dad was life in fast forward; always searching for that one thing that would make him feel more alive and less alone with his own thoughts. His journey was ripe with enthusiasm, adventure, a passion for spirituality, and... an overwhelming fear of loneliness and boredom. Though painful at times, I am incredibly thankful for the love he was willing to share with me. There are some lessons in this life, whether we think we needed them or not, that are simply too precious to ignore. 

I joined my brother on a mountaintop in Colorado just before Christmas to spread our dad's ashes among three pines in a sunbeam. Saying good-bye wasn't the hardest part for me. It was heading back down that mountain. That last step in the grieving process doesn't come easy. I guess that's where I am now... trying to find acceptance. Let me just say, it sucks. Everything is not alright. Opportunity is missing. But I know from experience that that too will change. I no longer have the luxury of debating whether or not I should try again with my dad. What's done is done. The question I ask myself now is, Was I true to myself, as only I can be?  And that my friends is a path we must all eventually take. 

*Don't give up on yourself*

"In the path of our happiness 
shall we find the learning for which we have chosen this lifetime." 
~ Richard Bach, Illusions

Love My Friends

... and happy learning!

“The best way out is always through.”

~ Robert Frost

"And they lived happily ever after!"

♥

Life's Inspirational Valiant Endeavors

~ "And they lived happily ever after!" ~

 

 

Let's see if I have this right. The prince wanders too far from the castle one night seeking good deeds to be done and a good time, inadvertently crossing paths with a witch of a woman (it's always a woman) that's just stumbled out of crazytown looking for a wayward prince she can undo (in the philosophical sense). Calling on her extensive knowledge of the black arts and the widely accepted truth that amphibians are a buzz kill in the bedroom, she promptly turns the young, impulsive, wet behind the ears prince into a toad. When asked why all the hostility, she grumbles, "...because, Dearie, I can." 

Cue the dewey-eyed, virginal prin-cess: merciful, sincere and a free spirit. This trusting, but clever young thing too big for her britches, strays too far from the watchful eye of those who practice common sense (her royally wary parents) searching for true love in the form of anything-not-resembling-a-toad... and a good education. 

The prin-cess falls head-over-heels for the toad.

The prince/de-cursed and reformed toad is humbled by his good luck.

They are wedded, bedded (in that order) and wake to a Whole New World where they all too soon stand facing the true meaning of marriage, parenthood... and, as is the way of the world and gravity,  inevitably a mid-life crisis in the halls of an empty castle, no longer ripe with their own youthful, wide-eyed optimism and the sweet anarchy which their children so generously delivered. But, glory be, if their luck has held out, they still have each other and all is well enough.

The witch still creeps about wreaking havoc on unsuspecting travelers, and kids with candy . The murky depths of the swamp still  shelters a toad or two. And dewey-eyed prin-cesses continue the search for themselves in fairy tales. Life goes on. The world still holds its place, inexplicably, in the universe. A moral can still be found in a good story.

"And they live happily ever after!"

Here's what boggles my mind, and disrupts my calm. The closer I inch toward the end of my life... Married: check. Babies: check. Empty castle: looming... the less infinite it becomes. (Why yes, I am married in my mid-forties with babies who are all grown up with one foot out the door. Why do you ask? ) 

People, please... for argument's sake:  If any point in an infinite universe, whether real or imagined, is in fact the center of that universe, does the fact that I recognize my own mortality, in my shriveling womb, somehow explain why I no longer feel like the center of my own universe? And if so, why'd I have to go and have a mess of kids that are, ultimately, just going to fly the coop ( the castle, in which, I live ) with their little royal tail feathers dancing in the winds of their own storybook universes, following dreams of their own making in search of their own happy endings? Is this circle of life thing meant to leave us doomed-to-be-empty-mortgage holders floating aimlessly in one gigantic, but limited, universe wishing for our carefree toad and prin-cess days again... and not merely as the victims of the stereotypical characterization and plot?

Searching for the answers to nonsensical questions like these keep this forty-something year old prin-cess up at night. I find the most reasonable path to sanity is to simply take a deep breath, place my head on my pillow, and try to think happy thoughts.

Like this one.

 

When my little prin-cess was still a little girl, I tucked her into bed listening as she, in her still infinite universe, stalled her bedtime with her own questions.  


"Mom," she asked, "what would you do if you were adopted by aliens?"

"I guess I'd ask 'em for a new spaceship," I answered. Why not, I thought. Isn't that what any prin-cess might ask for when presented with their new storybook alien parents?


She looked relieved. "So, you could come back to Earth then... anytime you wanted," she asked.
 
I realized then, of course, what she'd meant was "abducted". What would you do if you were abducted by aliens... not adopted. Not taken in by those who would give you your very own spaceship, dote on your every prin-cess need or whimsy, but rather those who might tear you from this world of castles and toads and fairy tale endings, thereby introducing you to real terror. 

And... there it is. The answer to my question. The very meaning of life all wrapped up in a little girl/prin-cess poised, ever so delicately, in the center of her infinite universe on the very edge of reason. 

Frightened by what tomorrow might bring, it is in our very nature to try to predict what may happen next week or next year or when we're old as dirt... as our light in this Great Big Universe passes on. Will evil ("the nasty old witch") reign? Will someone ("the strong and handsome prince") come to our rescue? Could I ("the equally strong and lovely prin-cess") summon the strength to rescue him right back? As children we are in constant motion, exercising our bodies and our senses, observing our world around us, asking questions... writing our own stories and our own endings. 

How often I do find myself lost in a fairy tale of my own making, and asking this question... Is my life a comedy or a tragedy? Well, I guess I'd better get busy writing!

Peace My Friends

... and happy writing!

“The best way out is always through.”

~ Robert Frost

 

*Life is in the journey!* ~ Happiness

♥

  Life's Inspirational Valiant Endeavors

~ Happiness ~

I'm not sure when, exactly, it happened. Somewhere along the way reality and practicality replaced my childhood dreams and fantasies. When I was young dreaming came easy. Mine was a long list, waxing and waning with my every childish whim. There was always time for dreams. There were no preconceptions of who would hand over the rent, feed the kids, or take care of me when I grew old. Growing *that* old was never part of the dream. It was a simpler time then. I would be indefinitely frozen, most likely in a twenty-something year old's body, and never wanting for anything. 

I liked wrapping my stuffed animal's heads and legs and tails in gauze, pretending they were sick. I wanted a horse of my own to know freedom. I hurt when we had to give away our farm dog because we lived in an apartment, and when our cat grew sick with cancer. I wanted to save all animals who were sick, or lonely like me. I would be a vet.

I was entranced by what lurked beneath the waves of the ocean and what peace lay hidden in its darkest depths. I longed for adventure on the Serengeti plains. I could wear khakis, and spend my days in the dirt with a toothbrush unearthing dinosaur bones and Egyptian tombs in the desert. I wanted to save something; even if it was just our history. I would be an oceanographer or a game warden or an archeologist. 

I wished I could ease the pain of others. Those wounds that often go unnoticed on children's faces, in their eyes, on their hearts. The heartbreaking, soul-jarring pain that we all carry through life, but sometimes... just sometimes we can't seem to let go of. I wanted to save those who were having trouble saving themselves. I would be a counselor.

I wanted to share all of my dreams, my fears, and my realities through stories. Because everyone can relate to a good story, and EVERYONE knows what it means to long for adventure. Words helped to raise my voice. They became my friends. I wanted to teach others that we are limited in our dreams, only by our imagination, so... I would be a writer.

I found my way, eventually. Though my dreams took me to places, honestly, where I never thought they would. I never did make it to vet school, or to the bottom of the ocean, or to the Serengeti. And I can't say that I've ever set up my own psychiatry booth on the side of the road. But somehow, and I can't say when, I found Happiness anyway.

Charles M. Schulz

Today, I'm thinking less about my dreams and more about our kids' dreams. So much for never growing *that* old. What do *they* want to be when they grow up? And when, if it hasn't already happened, will they begin to trade in their dreams and fantasies for reality and practicalities? Our oldest child graduates from high school this spring. He's off to save the world... or conquer it. And all I can think is... I hope he knows Happiness wherever he goes. Whether he falls into it or hunts it down with every breath in his body and soul, I hope he is Happy.

I believe in Happy. 

 Be Happy My Friends!

"The best way out is always through."

~ Robert Frost

*I Cook Barefooted!* ~ Key Lime Pie

Barefoot Love!

We moved a lot when I was little.


"Our battered suitcases
were piled on the sidewalk again;
we had longer ways to go.
But no matter,
the road is life."
~ Jack Kerouac

California 
introduced us to
Giant Redwoods, the West Coast,

and Disneyland.

I was an infant;

Breast was the meal du jour!

Alaska 
introduced us to 
a very… long… car ride,

and bean sandwiches.

We were poor. 

We had love and beans.

Florida 
introduced us to
the East Coast...

 The Florida Keys ~ That's me there; the little smiling face in the two piece!

the Sun, the Sand, and the Wind in our hair...

and it began my love affair
with my Be-lov-ed

Key Lime Pie!


"Adventure is a path.
Real adventure ~ self-determined, self-motivated,
often risky...
forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world.
The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it.
Your body will collide with the earth
and you will bear witness.
In this way you will be compelled
to grapple with the limitless kindness
and bottomless cruelty of humankind...
and perhaps realize that you yourself
are capable of both.
This will change you.
Nothing will ever again 
be black-and-white."
~ Mark Jenkins

In 1972,

my mom clipped a recipe from the Tampa Times.

She selected true key limes,

as the ingredient list suggested,

on a drive down to the Florida Keys.

Key limes are yellow, when ripe,

and smaller than the limes

found in these parts.

They’re tart and bitter and delicious!

The following November

we introduced 
Our Kentucky Family 
to a

Thanksgiving mouth explosion!

We've been hooked since!

There are few culinary pleasures that actually

tug on my heartstrings.

I do love me a Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut!

And, I am a sucker for a bowl of warm pasta and bread.

But it is that last Thursday in November,

every year since I was four,

that my mouth, literally, becomes a pie hole.

 “Really, it’s green?”

Yes, it is my friends!

Yes, it is.

☮

Key Lime Pie

For Pie:

1 can Sweetened Condensed Milk

4 Egg yolks (Save the whites for Meringue!)

¼ cup Lime juice,
(Key limes preferably, but bottled lime juice will suffice!)

3 to 4 drops of Green food coloring
*Presentation folks. It's all in the presentation.*

1 Graham cracker crust

For Meringue:

4 Egg whites

1 tsp. Cream of tartar

3 Tbsp. Sugar

Beat egg yolks until light yellow.

Add sweetened condensed milk and lime juice.

Mix in drops of green, and Voila!

Pour into graham crust.

Beat all ingredients for the meringue in mixer

until stiff and peaks form.

~If you’re looking to combine dessert with your workout:

Whisk in a glass bowl and count after me…

One, Two, Ten-thousand! ~

Pile immediately on top of pie in pretty dips and waves.

Bake at 350 degrees until tips of meringue are lightly browned.

You want reviews?

    How 'bout, 

"Green is my new favorite color!"  ヅ

     

How 'bout You?
Have a recipe you want to share on 
*I Cook Barefooted!*?
Show some Barefoot Love and...
Send it here:  scarlettcolleen@yahoo.com 
Want to include a photo? Fun!

What's on your table?


 

“Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions.

All life is an experiment.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 *Barefoot Love*Airbrush By, Colleen 
2012